One of the Most Frustrating Parts

You may lose your hair.  Or it may just thin out.

You may feel nausea, but you shouldn't be vomiting.

You may have dry skin.

You may be constipated.

You may not be able to sleep.

You may feel worse as you receive more treatments.

You may feel REALLY tired.

You may lose weight.

You may gain weight.

You may feel depressed.

I feel like being told about the possible effects of the chemo treatments has been one long, involved TV commercial for a drug.  One of the most frustrating things about having cancer and getting treated for it has been finding out that the experience and the effects are unique to the person getting treated. 

Yes, I know that my prognosis is good because I've caught it relatively early, my overall health is good, and I'm young.  But I would like to have a better idea about how things will be for future treatments.

I'm a planner.  Most of the jobs I've had in my life have involved some pretty intricate planning.  I like to know where I'm going and what I'm doing way in advance.  I used to think of myself as spontaneous, but I've learned over the years that I'm the opposite.  Why in the world would I choose to be a teacher?  In case you didn't know, most teachers are control freaks.  Every minute is planned. 

So when the course of treatments and the effects have been described to me in vague terms, my mind goes crazy.  How do I prepare for this?  How long will the effects last?  What can I do or not do or plan for in the other areas of my life?

I think someone or something is trying to teach me a lesson.  It's pretty obvious that I'm uncomfortable with vagueness.  I need to stop worrying, stop over analyzing, and just let it happen.  Because it will happen.  I also need to let others help, listen to my body, and slow down.

A lesson to be learned.  Without a lesson plan.  Can't I just call for a sub?